Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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