Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
