I have demons in me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
