Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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