and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
