I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
