please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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