Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
