My room smells like vodka and shame
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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