and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
