I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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