i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
