Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
