Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
