We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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