your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
