I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
