I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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