No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
