Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
