I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
