I hate your face
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
