we have pet lesbian snakes
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
