I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
