Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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