Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
