found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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