I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
