what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
