my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
