just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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