Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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