Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
