Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize