Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
