For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
be right there i have to get my cape
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
