thus making me awesome and them whores
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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