you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
