I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
