So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
