The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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