hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
