tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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