he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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