her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
