why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
