Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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