We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
