Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
