What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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