Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
