Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We talked him into tasing himself.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
