The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I am one with the molecules
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
