Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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