Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
