Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
