just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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