Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
