Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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