i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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