You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
