Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
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