Small penises have feelings too.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
