ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize