Can Purell be used as lube?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
